Our prisoner's dilemma

Towards the end of the summer, which on cool fall days like today feels quite a long time ago, we had a bit of a dilemma.  We were invited to someone's house for a small, casual dinner party.  Bring along the dog even.  Having rarely been the only non-Swedes around, we were interested to see what Swedes do when they're not surrounded by expats. 

Just before we were to leave we got a quick text from the host, mentioning that after dinner we might sauna.  Yes, sauna, it seems, can take on any part of speech.  We grabbed our swimsuits just in case, but having heard rumors about naked coed saunas, we didn't know what to expect.  While I wrapped up our small gift to the hostess, Dave investigated what might be expected of us.  A sauna...this could be fun, or this could be terrible.  We hadn't a clue.  Off we went with our wrapped up wine, our dog, and a bag full of dog treats, towels, and our swimsuits. 

While we walked to the T-bana, Dave told me what he had read.  The rumors were true: coed nude sauna is normal. We didn't want to be the sticks in the mud who were all uptight...but, we didn't necessarily want to be nude with strangers in a hot sticky sauna.  We starting thinking up all the different scenarios and determined that the situation was a simple 2x2 table:

In two of the four scenarios we would be doing the same as the others...everyone clothed would be the most comfortable for us, and everyone naked, well, we weren't sure.  But, we knew that at least we would be doing the same thing as everyone else.  When in Rome...blah blah blah.  It took very little time to determine that the worst scenario would be this:

This would have to be avoided at all costs.  And, while it would maybe come off as a little prudish to be  dressed while they weren't, we would probably get a break because we're expats. For whatever reason, we wanted to see how things went without being totally lame and full of questions.  My strategy was to be observant.  But, then Dave reminded me that there's an added twist:  although the sauna is usually coed, the women often go in first and then the men join.  In this case we would have no opportunity to discuss what to do.  Oh no! 

And so, after dinner, dessert, and lots of wine, the topic of the sauna comes up.  And then our host says something along the lines of "you ladies should go first." 

What!?!?!? 

Playing it cool I went downstairs with the two other women.  We had to get ready for the sauna, I was told, and bring along a jacket and our towels because it's outside along the water.  They each went into one of the two  bedrooms and I took the chance to run to the bathroom...mostly buying myself some time to see if they would come out in swimsuits or not.  After a few minutes one came out with a fleece and swimsuit bottoms, ready to head down to the water.  I was relieved and quickly changed.  I had no way of knowing whether they were topless or not, but I put on both pieces, threw on a jacket, and took my towel.  I had no way of signaling to Dave that we were going WITH our swimsuits. 

Fortunately when the men strolled in ten minutes later or so, they were all wearing trunks, including Dave.  I had a brief moment of panic when I realized that the truly worst thing would be if only one of us was naked and EVERYONE else was dressed.  Fortunately it worked out.  Dave didn't play it nearly as cool and detectivey as I did.  He was all practical...just asked the guys whether they were wearing swim trunks.   

Comments

[drew]

this story just made my day. i love you guys.

btw, sauna at my house is dressed but watch out for the anderson's sauna...

[Stuart]

this story just kept me on the edge of my seat....must have been a relief!

[Roger Peng]

I see the Swedes have mastered the art of interrogation by separating the prisoners!

[rachel]

this made me laugh out loud - literally. SO glad that you were able to sauna fully dressed!

[twitter.com/ozo]

I loved this post!

Though I've only heard of nude saunas among friends in Sweden, so this is a first. So this is VERY interesting.

And Dave is so funny. I can just picture him being that direct. :)

[Nicole]

great post! made me laugh out loud too :D

[Julia]

Glad everyone is enjoying this post. It was quite a night...in the end, a
lot of fun.

@Rommy: I think that at this place it's typical to go with suits because
it's a sauna that is shared by a few different houses in the community.
But, they did mention that sometimes they have gone nude when they decided
to go in last minute and their guests didn't have suits.

[Peter A]

When Ruth and I were in Uzbekistan, clothes were not permitted in the sauna. To top it off, I was beaten with birch branches by our host's brother. You guys got out easy!